Dealing with feelings of guilt & inadequacy (Moms!)

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Thought Series : Raising a HAPPIE Toddler

Day 5

Hi everyone – Last thought for our focus on ‘HEALTH’ – You & Your child’s.

A small exercise to help all the Stay-At-Home (SAH) Mums & Working Mums align their priorities, values & actions.

Why? Because based on my discussions with a lot of Moms – I realized that there’s a common feeling of guilt & inadequacy in ALL moms !!
Working Mums feel like, “I can’t spend enough time with my child. Am I doing enough?”
SAH Mums feel like, “All day, I’m JUST at home looking after my child. Am I doing enough?”

These feelings constantly drain our mental and emotional energy, leaving us with little or no juice left for our child. And so, it’s important that we deal with it, again so that we can offer our best to our child.

I believe, a lot of the feeling of inadequacy stems from our own lack of appreciation for ‘What we want from ourselves & our lives?’ We all have our kids as our FIRST priority – but what else is most important to us.

We must clearly identify that and take whatever steps we can to fulfill those other priorities also. What could the other priorities be?

  • Your hobbies / interests
  • Your work
  • In general, actions that relate to & satisfy your core values

Thought for Today

  1. Today, let’s choose 5 core values from the below list (image) and think of what are we doing / what can we do to fulfill those core values on a regular basis:
From my course ‘Find your Focus’ on Skillshare

2. Once you have listed your 5 core values, create ‘I want’ statements based on those core values. Below is an example of how I’ve done it.

From my course ‘Find your Focus’ on Skillshare

3. Once you have these goals before you, list what can you do / what are you doing to meet these goals and core values.

In my case, whatever I’m doing now – teaching, blogging, working from home – all of it aligns with these core values & life goals – and it gives me a sense of peace and accomplishment, a feeling of adequacy whenever I feel low.

All this did not happen overnight. It has taken me more than a year to reach this state of alignment where I feel worthy and useful, in whatever I’m doing.

I’d love to see all Moms – SAHM or Working – to feel fulfilled EACH and EVERYday – because you really are doing a GREAT JOB!!!

Let me know your thoughts!!

TOMORROW:

We begin our focus on the next need to raise a HAPPIE Toddler, that’s Attention / Connection.

Access Previous Days In This Series: Raising a HAPPIE Toddler

Day 0 : Laying out Universal Human Needs
Day 1 : Healthy Parent = HAPPIE Child
Day 2 : Making Self-Care A Habit
Day 3 : Meeting your toddler’s physical needs
Day 4: Identifying your own triggers before you tend to your child’s

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Author: Sharon Mary

Hi! To say the least about me, I am just a Mom trying to figure out the best way to raise my little daughter. 'Thought Symphony' is the fruit of my passion to share my learning and experiences as a ‘Mom’ to help parents like you have the smoothest ride possible on this roller coaster called ‘Parenting’.

2 thoughts on “Dealing with feelings of guilt & inadequacy (Moms!)”

  1. My 5 core values, “I want” statements and my “Hows” below

    1. Family
    I want to be able to make my family my priority, spend quality time with and make every day special for them in some small way
    How – I like making something special for them eat every once in a while, capturing special and candid moments in photos and videos. I want to have at least one meal together everyday!

    2. Career
    I want to be able to balance my time well so that I don’t have to compromise on my career.
    How – I ask for help when I need it and leverage the age-old adage that it takes a village to bring up a child. I also follow a strict switch-on-switch-off system for work where (unless its a do-or-die situation) I don’t let work spill onto my personal time and I don’t do personal stuff during work hours. Lockdown and work from home have definitely made this transition easier.

    3. Leisure / Solitude / Creativity (sorry they all come together for me!)
    I want to be able to indulge in some of the things I enjoy – reading, writing, singing and liatening to music, and occasionally watch a bit of Netflix/Amazon prime which is really the only thing I haven’t been able to do much since his highness came along!
    How – I try to set aside 20mins at the end of my work day to do one of these things everyday. Some days I manage and some days I don’t but that’s part of the deal I guess.

    4. Recognition
    I want to be known for the things I’m good at – professionally for my work and personally for my music and writing.
    How – I used to write a lot more and also perform a lot more music in the past. I am trying to revive these skills and interests now

    5. Security
    I want to feel safe and secure and I also want to make my loved ones feel the same – emotionally, financially and physically
    How – I ensure I communicate effectively with my spouse and my family to ensure all of these and/or take stock of what needs to be done to address concerns, if any

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